full of it?

So...

After all this time going on about sustainability and music, and an alternative business model for the arts that is more sustainable in ecological and relational as well as financial terms...

Confession time. As my performance schedule grows, I've flown more in the past year than I have in any other year of my life.

And as I look to the future, and the growth of this ministry, and the fact that it is becoming the "primary income" for our family rather than a "supplementary income," and now that I will no longer be the primary at-home parent... It looks like I'll be traveling more, not less.

So I have to ask myself - am I just full of it? Spouting ecological/sustainability rhetoric for as long as it's convenient and fits with my family's lifestyle and financial situation... only to jettison all that high-minded stuff about alternatives to the "tour! tour! tour! sell! sell! sell!" model when this ministry actually grows to the point that there's more and more "demand" for what I do...?

It's not a particularly fun question to ask, but it's a real possibility, and one that I need to be willing to look square in the face.

Of course, there's always the argument of "degree"... I'm still developing my "alternative model" (a significant part of which is the "CSM" or "Community Supported Music" approach)... and I'm still at a stage where I need to travel a fair bit and expose more people to this music firsthand, to get to the point where the "touring" part can become less important... (although I believe that some traveling will always be, and should be, part of what this ministry is about...)

And ok, so I've bumped up my extended-away-from-home-touring from about 5 weeks a year to about 10, and my family has decided we can handle that... it's still a far cry (isn't it?) from the constant touring that is seen as "the standard" for a musician that is serious about "making a go of it"...

And this coming year much of my long-distance travel will be by TRAIN, which is - as far as these things go - not as environmentally destructive as flying. I'm making use of the Canada Rail pass, and seriously considering doing a 30 day North America Rail Pass trans-continental tour... coast to coast, 2 countries, on one train ticket... how's that for economic and environmental stewardship?

And we'll soon be moving into town, which means leaving the large garden that we have so carefully cultivated over the past 5 years (and which produces a surprising amount of our food)... but it also means we'll be within walking distance of MANY more things, including the GO Train, and we expect to be able to cut our car usage by about 50%...

Trade-offs... challenges... uncertainties... passionate convictions... economic realities... choices...

Real eco-efforts... or handy rationalizations?

Hmmm...