saving 45,000 trees, apparently

a transcription of our latest environmental adventures, somewhere in Orangeville on our way to a weekend with family...

cast of characters, in order of appearance:

BMS - Bryan Moyer Suderman
PPE1 - Pizza Pizza Employee 1
PPE2 - Pizza Pizza Employee 2
MMS - Matthew, our 10 year old son
JMS - Julie Moyer Suderman

BMS (approaching counter with napkin in hand): I see here that it says "We are saving 45,000 trees per year by using red kraft pizza boxes." I'm curious - how does using red boxes save 45,000 trees per year?

PPE1 (bemused): ummm... I don't know.

PPE2 (earnestly): I don't know... maybe, like, because it's red?

BMS: You mean using RED pizza boxes saves trees? As opposed to, say, blue or green...?

PPE2 (giggling): I really have no idea.

BMS: Are the pizza boxes made of recycled paper, maybe? But I still wonder what the colour red has to do with it...

PPE1 (shrugging): I don't know...

BMS (walking back to table): Ok... thanks... I'm glad we're saving 45,000 trees per year, I was just curious how it works...

MMS (at table, finishing pizza slice and looking at the paper sleeve it's served on): It says "please recycle me"... where should I put it?

(BMS, JMS, MMS all look around room, notice garbage can and bin for recycling bottles... but no bin for paper...)

BMS (approaching counter with pizza slice sleeve in hand): Hi there. It's me again. We'd like to help save 45,000 trees by recycling these... can you tell me where we should put them?

(BMS and PPE1 and PPE2 scan the room)

PPE1 (bemused): ummm... I don't know.

PPE2 (giggling): You could, like, give them to us, I guess.

BMS (peering behind the counter, not seeing any recycling bins): Oh... ok, we'll do that. Here you go...

PPE1 (smiling bemusedly): Thank you!

PPE2 (smiling earnestly): Thank you!

BMS (waving on the way out the door with JMS and MMS): Thank you! It's been nice saving trees with you!

JMS (as we walk out the door): Bryan, you weren't being very nice. They just work here...

MMS: I bet I know where they're going to put that stuff...