you do not

Lately, for reasons I can't explain, I've been feeling tired. Just plain tired.

Maybe it's because I've again been focusing on organization and administration and many-decisions-to-be-made, and not taken time recently to write songs. Maybe it's because I've overdosed on exceptionally meaningful reading lately (did I just say that? is that possible?) - "The Land" by Walter Brueggemann, "The Irresistible Revolution" by Shane Claiborne, "Vegetable, Animal, Miracle" by Barbara Kingsolver - reading that has stimulated and inspired me, but also left me with nagging feelings of complacency. Maybe it's because we've felt inspired and challenged by - but not exactly sure what to do with what we're learning from - recent visits we've made to some friends who have built a straw bale house north of Wiarton and are living "off the grid" with solar/wind power, and an intentional community/eco-village just outside of Orangeville.

Maybe it's because it's "Holy Week," today is "Maundy Thursday," and for whatever reason these key moments in the year make me feel like I should be posting something wise and insightful on my blog, and I frankly don't feel like I have anything wise and insightful to say.

Maybe staying up too late the other night to watch "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" has something to do with it too...

In any case, I'm looking forward to a Seder Supper with family tonight (I've never experienced one before), and other special times of worship this weekend when I will be led and will not be leading.

And these words of Jesus from this morning's reading (John 13) jumped out and grabbed me and I plan to hold on to them pretty closely for a while:

"You do not know now what I am doing, but later you will understand."