decision time

Julie loves to get things done, cross them off the list, and move on. When she writes a letter (the old-fashioned kind, on paper, that you put in an envelope with a stamp, remember?) she immediately seals the envelope and sets it aside. Ahhh, done. Finished. What's next?

I, on the other hand, have a terrible time sealing envelopes of any kind, ever. What if there's something else I might want to add? I want to keep all my options open as long as possible. I don't like to seal it up until I'm standing by the mailbox, and the letter is about to go through the slot, and I absolutely have to... if I really want it to get where it's going, that is.

Well, it's decision time - "envelope-sealing time" - with my new CD project. I've been recording for a couple of months already, rather excited about how things are turning out, but there are still LOTS of things that I've left open-ended because for me the songs are living, breathing, evolving things, vastly variable and adaptable in public performance and use, and it kills me to set down a "final" version on the recording that becomes identified, somehow, as "definitive" and "the way the song goes."

So...

Should I add the backing vocals one at a time over a couple of "repeats" of that refrain, or should they all come in full-force right off the top...?

Which lyric should I use for verse three, since I've recorded two different versions and I like to use different variations in live performance...?

Should the violin take the solo for the whole chorus, or just kick in after the first two phrases, or maybe just after the first (we recorded all 3 versions, just in case, and I could talk all day about the interpretive possibilities and implications of each one)...?

I thought I'd decided to keep that last chord unresolved, but I keep having second (and third, and fourth) thoughts...

And on and on it goes. I'll spare you.

This week Matthew and I head to Winnipeg, where I'll have two full weeks in the studio to "wrap up" this project (at least the "audio" portion - then there's all the design stuff).

Anyway, it's time to get this done and move on. Hold my breath (and probably my nose), make some decisions, seal the envelope and drop it in. There's a new cycle of songs for the fall that I'm itching to get started...

another conundrum...

... brilliantly articulated by our 3-year-old niece Zoe. I've been puzzling over it all day, and by now I'm convinced it's wiser than either of us knows.

"Uncle Bryan, can you help me to swim all by myself?"

peace takes...

... guts. So says the t-shirt I was wearing, little thinking I'd have the chance to show some "guts" of my own...

I was reading the paper and sipping my morning coffee in the restaurant/pub area of the Inn where we were staying. A wonderful little place, run by Mark who obviously relishes the role and vocation of innkeeper. Pick any century in human history, and I could easily imagine this place, with Mark the innkeeper caring for his guests.

And then there was the other guy (never learned his name), apparently a neighbour, eating his breakfast and listening to the news. "Hmmph," he said, upon hearing about the plans for road blockages the next day as part of the national Day of Action by First Nations people across Canada. "This would never happen in the States. They should just bring in the army. That's how to deal with Indians."

The coffee cup clattered to the table.

My mind churned through possible responses, discarding them as quickly as they came. "Great idea. After 500 years, it's a wonder nobody's thought of it before..." or "Brilliant. Seems to be working great in Iraq..."

Before I'd finished contemplating caustic cracks, and long before I even started considering some kind of more constructive response, someone had changed the subject and that was that... and I felt ashamed to be wearing that t-shirt and unable (unwilling?) to respond swiftly, emphatically, and constructively to such a comment, so breathtaking in its stupidity, so casually launched over scrambled eggs and toast...

Reminds me of a couple of books I've just finished. "Blackwater" by Jeremy Cahill (2007) is a shocking expose of the rise of "Blackwater, USA" ("the world's most powerful mercenary army") and the implications and consequences of the systematic "privatization" and "outsourcing" of US military functions and war-making operations in the past decade... In the first Bush Gulf War (1991), the ratio of "private contractors" (mercenary soldiers) to regular military personnel was 1 to 60... in 2003 in Iraq it was 1 to 3... by November 2006 in Iraq it was 1 to 1...

And "Binding The Strong Man: A Political Reading of Mark's Story of Jesus" by Ched Myers (1988) articulates as dramatic an alternative as you can imagine - Jesus' campaign of nonviolent direct action and the inauguration of a new order with a dramatically different character...

"The Jesus of Mark provides very few answers, especially if we are asking the wrong questions. But as a questioner himself, he compels us to reveal where we stand. If we wish to respond, he offers us only a cross and companionship on the way... For Mark, the resurrection is not an answer, but the final question. There is only one genuine "witness" to the risen Jesus: to follow in discipleship. Only in this way will the truth of the resurrection be preserved." (Myers, pp. 403-404)

"Peace Takes Guts" indeed... I hope next time I'll have some...